We welcome your thoughts. I love my husband, but when it comes to sex, he has been, and still is, a year-old boy. At first I was a willing participant, but after years of his moping, cajoling, screaming, and disrespect, I lost interest. Finally, several years ago, I decided to keep the relationship and family intact by agreeing to sex once a week. I had no family support, no money, a lack of self-esteem, and young children. But on this one thing we cannot agree. He does not take testosterone or engage in porn; he just wants sex with me. Do I continue to close my eyes and endure that 30 minutes once a week to enjoy the other 99 percent of my life? Read about this arrangement here, originally from my book The Bitch is Back and reprinted in NextTribe.
Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, affiliation coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, after that her writings on sex, relationships, character, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, after that elsewhere. Anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship can almost certainly attest to this golden truth a propos sex: No matter how great it was at the start of a relationship, things usually slow down finally. Oftentimes this happens in the appearance of desire discrepancy—one partner wants en route for do it, but the other doesn't. You've probably read plenty of femininity advice columns telling you what you need to do next: figure absent a way to get the ember back, whether that means switching ahead your routine or going along along with sex you don't really want before otherwise finding a way to reawaken your sex life. You are absolutely within reason to want to abide a break from sex, even but you're married or dating someone you deeply love.
Allow a question about relationships and femininity for seniors? Every month in Femininity at Our Age, award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers your questions a propos everything from loss of desire en route for solo sex and partner issues. Naught is out of bounds! My companion and I are in our 60s, very active and in good fitness.